Monday, October 8, 2012

A call for more government holidays

This morning’s Columbus Day commute proves that we have too many government bureaucrats in Austin, Texas. The drive was a breeze. I’d Mopac_Austin Texasestimate we had 35% fewer automobiles on the highway.

I propose we encourage our politicians and their staffs to stay home. Think of all the benefits. If they aren’t in office, they can’t pass more inane legislation. They can’t waste our tax dollars on idiotic programs. They can’t pander to the power brokers behind the scenes who really control the strings.

Yes. It is time for our government to act more responsibly by not acting at all. Do us all a favor. Stay home. Not only will your magnanimous inaction keep from driving your constituents insane, but it will make our drive to work so much more pleasant.

Monday, April 2, 2012

I heard the news today

This was no April Fool’s joke, although Austin citizens wish it were so. All day long we kept hearing news of serious injuries and death from all parts of the city.

The headlines in this morning’s online edition of the Austin American-Statesman:

  • Austin police investigate South Austin injury shooting 6:09 a.m.
  • Man in critical condition after being struck by pickup truck 10:44 p.m. Sunday
  • Man dies after falling 50 feet near Pennybacker Bridge 10:44 p.m. Sunday
  • Woman dies after being hit by boat near Mansfield Dam 8:25 p.m. Sunday
  • Skydiver killed outside Lexington 7:40 p.m. Sunday
  • APD seeks suspected hit-and-run driver 12:57 p.m. Sunday
  • What the heck is going on in Austin Texas? This is a magnificent place to live people.  Be safe and take care of one another. Okay?

    Tuesday, March 13, 2012

    Mary Ann? Or Ginger-O’s?

    I’m not a cookie monster, but Newman’s Own Ginger-O’s are probably the best mass producedNewman's Own Ginger-O's cookies I’ve ever tasted. They have a wonderful snap and the ginger flavor just bursts across your taste buds.

    They are so good! You just have to try them. Pour yourself a fresh glass of cold milk and savor each bite. Exquisite.

    Oreo, you are being served notice: I may have found a new favorite packaged cookie.

    While pricey at $5.99 for a 13 ounce package, they are worth the occasional indulgence…maybe more than occasionally.

    Friday, February 3, 2012

    The Super Bowl goes commercial

    If I had a DVR, I’d record the Super Bowl so I can replay the broadcast whenever I’m bored.

    I’d fast-forward through the game play and watch the commercials.

    Tuesday, December 6, 2011

    Prettying up the workout

    I’m working out, bench presses at the moment. Never thought I’d be staring at a beautiful orange hibiscus bloom while doing my reps.

    How’s that, you ask? An orange hibiscus bloom hanging over your bench? Where are you working out, in a plant nursery?
     
    Close, but no.
     
    My garage is my gym. It’s 40 degrees at 4:00 p.m. in Austin Texas with a bitter north wind that makes you think you’re in Chicago. Tonight’s low is forecast to dip to around 19 degrees. I moved all of my potted plants into the garage. I have to protect them from the hard freeze.
     
    Maybe that’s all my garage gym ever needed was some plant life to bring it some cheer and make my workouts more enjoyable.
     
    Then again, maybe not. The garage makes for one ugly gym.
     

    Monday, April 25, 2011

    Car talk that only scratches the surface

    Ding is on my list of least liked words. It connotes minor damage, a dent or a blemish. To me, it means some inconsiderate dolt parked too close to my vehicle and whacked my door while exiting their own chariot. 100 out of 100 times, they leave without even the courtesy of a note of apology on my windshield. What’s up with that?

    A buddy and I were talking last week about why my daughter’s Toyota Camry is in the body shop. I explained how she learned the bitter lesson that immobile objects truly are immobile and can do considerable damage to a vehicle, even while driving in reverse. I backed into a support beam in a poorly lit parking garage a few years ago. I wasn’t going more than two miles per hour, so the impact merely left a small crease in the bumper. It still ticks me off! It’s pride in ownership.

    I purchased a 2002 Volvo in May 2010. The body was in remarkable condition with nary a blemish. I’m sure the car was buffed by the dealer prior to putting it on the lot, yet still, I was very impressed with its condition. Friends and admirers congratulated me on the purchase of our “new” ride (it had 112K miles on the odometer). Eleven months later, it has a least a half-dozen dings and one moderate dent – all caused by anonymous turds who felt no responsibility for their actions. The most recent is a pretty good dent high up on the front passenger door. It galls me every time I look at it.

    A friend remarked that he finds it a relief when his new ride finally gets its first ding. When it happens, he no longer concerns himself with where he parks. It’s already nicked up, so what’s the point getting all stressed out about where I park and inconveniencing myself in a futile effort to protect it? I understand his thinking, but it upsets me nonetheless. We resign ourselves to the notion that others will essentially vandalize our cars with not a care, a bit of remorse or a tinge of guilt. What does that say about our society?

    Friday, April 8, 2011

    Romancing the reader

    For a recent writing exercise, the assignment was as follows:

    In three sentences, “romance the reader" with the following words: desire, connection, magnetism, attraction, envy, power, indulgence.

    Here’s what I wrote:

    I have an insatiable desire to form a connection with you that transcends a simple magnetism or attraction. I want to make it so real, so strong, that it is the envy of all who observe. The power of this bond is their inescapable indulgence, like the unintentional voyeur who stumbles across lovers in a secluded outdoor rendezvous and can’t peel her eyes away from the steamy amorous scene.

    Whew! Where’s the fan? Maybe I missed my calling as a romance novelist. Secret telling smile